Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
