shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just had sex bonerless
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
