I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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