well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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