whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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