oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
