we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
