No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
