I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm really busy with my period
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