Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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