I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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