He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
