I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
