is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
