How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
