Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
