Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
