i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
