His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
