Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
