There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
