It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
