My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
