I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Text me some of your sweat
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