Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
