Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
