For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
