I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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