I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Randomize
