Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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