we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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