spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
