is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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