? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
