Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
