You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
