I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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