I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
