i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
