No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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