So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
