I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
