1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am mentally ready for anal.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
