How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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