He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
