if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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