Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
