I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
