The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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