there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
